Nutscapes: A Celebration of the Immaturity of Man

The call for a celebration of males in modern times is as needed as much as a public holiday for white skinned people in the US. Most political offices in the world are held by men, the gender pay gap still favours human beings that lack mammary glands and even forward thinking science communities are still plagued with sexism. But if we were to, say hypothetically, champion what it is like to be male in a sea of feminism and push forth the agenda that being a man is something to be proud of, how would that be achieved?


Men are can be childish. As one myself I can substantiate the claim that despite the ageing process, intention of being a good father and consideration for the future, I still have a grasp on my youth and occasionally find yours truly heralding the idiot inside. This isn’t meant as a criticism of men, merely a nod to other likeminded chaps that embracing one’s youth isn’t [always] a reason to be ashamed.

I am no expert on the ‘isms’ that we surround ourselves with but tend to side with the good natured, equal rights society that social media often stands for. The mere mentioning of how one type of person is different from another is unsteady ground for me, but I will put my childish brain in gear and attempt a few key points. Males:


Myth, legend and even the movies tell us that male warriors in skirts would flash their genitals at enemies before charging in to battle. Scores of men, unable to communicate verbally with their child-like minds would send a message that says “look at my penis, look at my balls, now I am going to fight you.” Fortunately the day of revealing oneself in anger has past, this replaced with getting naked on top of mountains. While men and women are both guilty as charged, it can be argued that being caught up in the moment / peer pressure is to blame.

Casually lowering a pair of pubic-laden testicles in front of a camera lens to add compositional elements to a beautiful scene is evidence of the suppressed male scream of masculinity. The burden a professional man, white collared, supposedly intelligent and objective is released upon the advance of his nut sack.

The Joe Cornish Boulders have been replaced by the Nutscape.

A distant waterfall mimics the male marking of territory
Low brow attempts at cataloguing ‘lad culture’ are rife on Facebook with sites like LAD bible et al. Their incessant coverage of all things ‘banter’ by regurgitating already over recycled content could typically be assumed as a true representation of the male psyche. Nutscaping offers a more subtle (though not so much) visual metaphor of the male brain.

Since early 2014 a Tumblr page set up by American artist Clancy Philbrick has been publishing submitted images of bollock spoiled landscapes that it calls Nutscapes. There’s no shortage of male participants either and while posts from February 2014 appear to feature the same dimply loose skin in every scene, further imagery shows a wider range of different sperm generating organs.

knotty fur, but not as nasty as the over processing.
On premise the photographs can be quickly dismissed as a joke or degraded to meme status. Brave article writers have already covered a selection of the best examples but haven’t gone as far as a consideration behind the stunts. Peculiar as some will find it, at Phogotraphy we think there may be a fitting place in the art world for Nutscapes. Browsing through the submissions so far it would certainly require a more steady hand and a little less varnishing on the processing front. The longevity of the project and whether or not an artist is willing to conker conquer the meme will be telling.

With permission from the founders of Nutscapes here are the remaining images that have so far found their way into Internet history.

As one great ball in the sky fades, another rises.

Enveloped in the shadow of a mountain this pair of gobstoppers adds compositional value to the centre of the frame.

Beautifully hung and proudly lopsided bullet chamber

Red raw hairy tomato

Too tall, too tight or too shy? There’s a reason behind this partial glimpse of naked mole rat

over-ripe plums in an over saturated landscape

Goodness gracious great… ok, ok.

No matter how many LOMO filters you add to your photograph your fluffy peanut bag will never look attractive.

Perspective can help any set of baby makers conquer mountains.

The chimp’s disciples

The bishop’s clergy

The misshapen sac de la mer

Out of date pear

Chewed up tennis ball

The furry dangle pack

The real Achilles heel

Chief Wiggins’ mirror dice

The black heart down below

External ovaries


Marble filled skin sock

The place the sparse pubes grow

England’s finest goalkeeper


Unleashe the scrotum

Cajones of the Nile

The forbidden kiwi fruit

Wedding tackle

If you’ve got a spare set of dangle berries you’d like to unleash upon nature, then Nutscapes has a great How-to guide and submission page for prospective part time nudists.

As always, your thoughts in the comment section or via our social media pages are welcomed.

All images used with explicit permission from Nutscapes.

One thought on “Nutscapes: A Celebration of the Immaturity of Man

  1. Barry McCockinner January 7, 2022 / 9:03 pm

    Lmao this entire article reeks of fishmouth.


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